When I was 12 years old I was a nationally ranked gymnast. I worked hard training upwards of 30 hours a week to master my craft. I think it was not only a tool for me to grow and learn but a way for my mother to have some time to gather herself. I was, to say the least, a handful. I was a natural born athlete and competitor. But what I lacked was focus. What I lacked was faith in myself. I love my mother more than anything in the world, but as perfect as she is, she was also an incredible enabler. Because I was born with ADHD and other things that effected my performance at times, my sweet mother never wanted me to feel like a failure. She believe in me, no matter what. But the funny thing about children with attention disorders is that they’re incredibly smart. They can also be incredibly manipulative. They get frustrated easily therefor they express that frustration and in turn aren’t forced to push through the uncomfortable feelings that come with things like repetition, practice, or general stillness.
I will never forget an experience that showed me, I could do hard thing. I could in fact complete tasks, follow directions, grow.
My hyperactivity was so severe as a child that I couldn’t sit still long enough to look someone in the eyes. One day my male gymnastics coach, whom had trained me for several years, stood in front of me and yelled, “DANI... LOOK AT ME.” I did for a moment, then looked away, breaking eye contact nervously. He said again, “DANI.. I SAID, LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT EYES AND LISTEN. FOCUS!” I started to cry. He repeated him self over and over, "LOOK AT ME." Finally I broke yelling out, “I can’t! I can't do it!." He placed his hands gentrly on my shoulders standing in front of me and said, "Yes you can, stop, breathe, do not take your eyes off mine." Painfully I stood in silence for what felt like an eternity looking into Tom’s eyes. It hurt inside. I remember feeling panic as tears flowed down my face. Then he said, “You see? You CAN do it. Just breathe and focus.” He hugged me tightly and walked away to continue coaching his team.
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I almost cry writing it. I'm a 31 year old woman and this effects me in such a deep way. What Tom taught me that day didn’t set it until later in life. But I imagine that’s part of being a coach, no matter the age of the learners. In fact, now as a coach I know it is.
What I learned was that I wasn't broken, I wasn't stupid and I wasn't incapable. I just needed someone to help me. I needed someone to show me some tough love and teach me, without degrading me that It was definitely hard. Sitting still and being quiet. Even harder making eye contact, but, I could do it.
It would have done me no good if Tom ignored me, continued on with his hours of coaching just letting me bounce off the walls. It would have done my parents no good, as they were paying hundreds of dollars a month for this training. But most importantly I would never have learn how to navigate life as MYSELF, not as someone else. I wasn't like the other girls on the team. They didn't need more attention and more help keeping their head in the moment of the routines we were learning. They didn't need reminders to come straight back to the floor after heading to the drinking fountain, in stead of getting caught up in a conversation in the 3 second walk. They didn't need tender reviews, they could handle the boldness. I needed something different. The best coaches and teachers are the one's who consider each individual as just that, Individual. And the best coaches and teachers understand that some people, whether they be child or adult, need more tenderness WITH firmness. They understand and learn their clients or students realizing their personality. When it's time to push, when it's time to quietly affirm. We are all different.
I spent a great part of my life thinking I couldn't do things. I still do. I think about this company and this platform and panic. Holy shit, how am I going to do this? I remember loosing my license and sobbing on my living room floor thinking, how on EARTH am I going to get through the next year without driving? Well here I am, almost 3 years later, still no license. And in that time i've not only learned to do life but i've completely transformed my life while I was at it. Built a successful career, a small business, a following. I did it. I had to stop, breathe, and focus. I remember circling a parking lot of an AA meeting thinking, I can't do this. I can't. I don't want to either, but REALLY I can't. But I did. I walked in. I had to stop, breathe, and focus. I remember crying as I found out I had lost my job thinking all the worst case scenarios. How am I going to pay for my lawyer? How am I going to help Tyler with the costs of our life? How am I going to pay for the uber rides I need to get to places while job hunting? How the hell am I going to do this. I had to stop, breathe and focus.
A few months later I found myself having adapted to my new found free time and re-launched my online training, purchased a website, and gained even a greater following in my time of brutal honesty and transparent struggle.
I will never stop reminding myself of the moment Tom Brennan taught me one of the greatest lessons in my life. At such a young age he prepared me for both the triumph and the failure of my future. Because let's not forget that even in success we must practice those three behavior checks I spoke of above. In turmoil we need to re-center ourselves. Eye on the prize, if you will. And with the good comes much inflation of the mind and with that can come complacency and lackadaisical mindset.
When you're at the bottom, WORK LIKE HELL. When you're on top, YOU REMEMBER THE BOTTOM, AND STILL, WORK LIKE HELL.
And never, ever forget, that you really CAN do it. No matter how uncomfortable it feels. No matter how many tears are streaming down your face and no matter how much you want to scream. Your body and your mind are incredibly powerful things. When you TEACH yourself to make these two work together, you will astound yourself.
#PRESSONPRETTYGIRL
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